Saturday, January 3, 2009

Have a nice day!

you know what's scarier than those two meat heads above? women shopping at La Senza during boxing week. especially the older broads! i was in last week exchanging some gifts from Santa's naughty list and had quite the encounter with a rabid cougar. there i was standing in line with my new stuff and my old waiting the 20 or so minutes like everyone else while casually looking through the mountains of panty tables parallel to the line. after 10mins or so of just waiting i see to my left there is a table i missed altogether. it's about 4feet away. 4 feet. remember this. i'm looking for one particular pair i had spied from the lineup but am having zero luck in the size dept. after 2mins maximum of wading through panty island i turn back around the 4feet to the lineup. it hasn't moved up an inch so i stand place where i was. after about 20 seconds i realize the lady that was behind me originally is now inching up against me and looking to pass. i don't really care but just noticed this and went about texting on my phone.

"you can't do that you know."

me "excuse me?"

her " you can't get a place in line then go about the rest of your shopping."

( i'm mildy annoyed and slightly taken back at this point)

me "i'm finished my shopping thankyouverymuch. i just happened to see pair of panties from the table 4feet away that go with this item"

her "no. you were over there for like 4 or 5 minutes looking at everything. the rest of us would love to do that."

(henceforth 'her' will known as 'dumb bitch' or 'db' for short)

me "no i wasn't, besides who cares? look around you. everyone is doing the same want me to go to the back of the line? forget it, i've waited 15mins by now."

db "yes, you should. it's not fair. you can't do that."

me "why do you care? are you mall etiquette police? we're all in the same boat here, no one cares but you. why the hell do you think they place the tables around the lineup? this is ridiculous."

girl behind me "you can go ahead of me,it's not a big all."

me "thank you. you see that? a girl half your age, but twice your manners."

db "well you know what?------"

me "lady have a nice day" ( i motion the turn around and fuck off signal)

db "NO, YOU---"

me "HAVE A NICE DAY" (with the hand)

db 'Merry Christmas!"

me "at your house? i'm sure it was!"


me "wow lady...just. wow."

she pays for her stuff and turns to me with indignation in her eyes, oh she's really going to give it to me now.

db "you know...."

me "lady, be on your way you have plenty of other days to ruin out there for yourself."

true story.


Anonymous said...

Ha, at least that one chick was cool though. Seriously...who cares about playing the line game? If someone in front of me went to go check something out nearby I dont see myself having a meltdown about it.

Molly said...
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jax said...
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Mooshki said...

I love it - "Talk to the hand, beeyotch!"