Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Hey Oprah! We don't care!


Oh.my.fucking.god.
Did you watch the Oprah show yesterday? her "omg, i'm so fat, let me tell you why" fest. ok first off this self serving mess did a WHOLE FUCKING SHOW on why she got fat. oh it wasn't from pigging out. it was because her life was out of balance. yes, it had nothing to do with the whole bag of organic, multigrain, blue chips you just copped to eating everyday or rich foods you eat at every 5 star restaurant. we know you like your soul food girl! no, it's because Oprah's life is out of balance and it eventually leads her to the pantry every night while Stedman watches basketball highlights in the den reliving his glory days and wondering how he became the highest paid lapdog in history.
so now her assistant is scheduling in some manicures (i shit you not) to create more balance for Opie.

This whole damn show was dedicated to Oprah telling us how it was everything but her doing the old hand to mouth 24/7. i said hand to mouth you sick pigs! what gets me though is she keeps talking slow and pronounced and explaining each step in her fatventure like it was a timeline of the Titanic sinking. and she thinks we're buying it! you got fat! who fucking cares? stop talking down to your audience and making it seem like we are all clamoring for answers about why Oprah is fat again. like we sit by the water cooler talking smack about COS, catching up on Heroes and trying to figure out Oprah's BMI. puhleaze. self involved much?

What gets me is this almost part 2 with Dr. Oz on fucking Larry King. yes, because we didn't get enough of it in 60 mins with Queen O herself, we need her doctor to go on CNN and talk about her damn thyroid. fuck that! every damn fat person at one time has tried that one. i know, at one time i did, before waking the fuck up and getting some knowledge on nutrition and exercise.

All i know is if you're going to do "hey look bitches i'm skinny!" and pull a wagon of your fat in to rub in your live,middle American, obese audience faces , then why not pull a big ol wagon in with your gained fat?

hey, it's good exercise.

5 comments:

Catherine said...

I love it, Jax! This is just God's honest truth. Deal with it, step away from the fries and move on! Trust me...the moving will help.

Beth said...

LOVE YOU GIRL!!! Tell it like it is!!! oprah KILLS me....she things the whole world really wants to know why she's fat??? CUZ SHE EATS TOO MUCH!!! So do i!!! jeez, talk about self-important, we really don't base our whole lives on what YOU say Oprah...and if you were so "wise" wouldn't you be skinny by now and preaching at us on how you did it and how we have to do it too?


gawddddddd

Bad Fish said...

"each step in her fatventure like it was a timeline of the Titanic sinking."

lmao

Harriet Hellfire said...

Uh...Winfrey?


I can't believe I missed this episode!! I'ma have to go to her website now. I try to avoid it as much as I can but I MUST watch this episode.

Mooshki said...

"Uh...Winfrey?"

Oh my god, I had completely forgotten about that. LOL!!!