Sunday, January 30, 2011

Three Crazy Years Later

Image via Postsecret

Three years a go today I was sitting in a small office in a technology company, watching the clock tick away and hating every fucking minute of it. Something had to change, or I was going to be climbing a bell tower soon. Heath Ledger had just died a week prior and the media vultures were already speculating. I was angry. Not just about that, but about everything and I'm not sure what got me to ultimately do it but I felt compelled like never before to stand up and be heard. I had done some blogging to help out a friend in the past,but never anything on my own, so I was a bit shy about it at first. I knew what I wanted to say but I was shy to put it out there for the blogworld to read. After a few phone calls with unhappy customers and run-ins with upper management my patience had worn thin enough that I was ready to do this. I logged on to blogger,picked a quick template, a name (stemming from being a blogger commenter named Jax) and sat back in my chair to think about what would be my first post. As I was sitting there thinking, one of the older micro-managers came in to bitch and complain about someone else and I had it. This was the result.

Was it the profound message I had hoped to spread? No. I was pissed off and she hit my last nerve...so I wrote about it. And I felt better. So I wrote about something everyday that pissed me off and that felt good too! Soon I was capturing all my rage and posting it online to amuse my friends and sometimes make them think. This went on for a few years and then somewhere along the way I stopped being pissed off. I wasn't angry about as much. I had lost my job due to the economy,yet I never once blogged about how fucking unfair it was or how my whole life was going to have to change. Instead I found a new focus, first being the Olympics. When that was over I changed the template on my blog and became what I had been aspiring to for the last 3 years without knowing it...a blogger. I am not the same person I was back then. Maybe not even a year ago and I can't help but think that blogging has been a big part of that. I've been to Europe,China, seen countless live shows,interviewed musicians, authors and reality stars. I've met celebs,politicians,great innovative people and complete fucking morons. Besides meeting some amazing friends through it, my blog has given me a voice and passion I never dreamed was in me and confidence to get out there and make it happen.

I'm still out here, still trying to make it happen, but I am a whole lot happier.
And if we haven't met yet- I'm Jax. This is my blog and I'm glad to meet you.

5 comments:

mngddess said...

Happy Anniversary! I am happy to call you friend and wish you more and more success!!

Cyn

braverwoman said...

Right on Sister! Jax I'm proud of you and have enjoyed your blog and your voice on CDAN.

About 18 months ago I started a blog. You are the only one besides my son who knows. I let it go dormant after a few posts because I went back to work (teacher). At the time I was excited about it and had a ton of ideas for posts. Looking back, I think the real reason I stopped writing is that I started over thinking things and eventually came to the conclusion that anything I could possibly express would be trite/unimportant/stupid. But ya know maybe it's time to revisit my shit. Thanks for the inspiration. Braverwoman

PS KEEP writing!

jax said...

aww thank you! that is so awesome to hear. you keep it going too..i'ma check it out! ;o)

Bad Fish said...

I forgot to leave this note when I read your post, and as you know things have been insane as of late. I enjoyed reading this because as you personally have been witness, I too have changed a lot as I started to write. Your blog has come a long way since the default Blogger template days and it's nice to have had a front seat to the evolution of your career. Love ya doll!

jax said...

XO thank you, Holls!